The keys to Lola...

...or at least some help in understanding some of my commonly-used terms:

DH=Darling Husband, or Damnit Honey! They mean the same thing anyway. lol

DA=Dumb Ass, though they're also his initials...he's a particular obsession of mine. Those of you who are following my blog from MySpace to here know all the gory details. (Well, most of them, anyway...) Those of you who are new to this with me should have some background. However, it's too long for me to post right now, so I'll get into that one later. Suffice it to say, he is still one of my "favorite" topics.

Splenda Daddy=My Splenda Daddy has the title of fake boyfriend #1. He's older than me, but he doesn't actually give me money or pay for my housing or feed me or sleep with me or anything. So he's not a sugar daddy but a sugar substitute. Hence, Splenda Daddy. He's just a darling, gorgeous older man with whom I am slightly obsessed.

Adam Levine=My #2 fake boyfriend. He would likely prefer that I call him William Shatner (have I said too much?!), but the 1st time I saw him, he reminded me of Adam Levine. In fact, I called him that. At any rate, he's a tall, gorgeous blue-eyed obsession of mine. I just can't figure him out and it makes me crazy...

The Original Future Husband #2=Well, this is sort of self-explanatory, no? He & I agreed to be each other's 2nd spouses, long before I got married even. He's not married yet, but he once told me he wanted enough kids to have his own baseball team, so he better get crackin'. That's why I agreed to be Wife #2. #1 can have the kids & raise 'em, then they can support us in our trailer down by the lake...

Let's see, what else? I suppose those of you who don't know me might be a tad confused. Suffice it to say, I'm madly in love with my DH and completely faithful. HOWEVER, I am an incorrigible flirt, and that is why I have all the extra boyfriends & such. They make my wonderful life even happier.

I'm a Pastafarian. If you don't know what that is, get thee to http://www.venganza.org/ IMMEDIATELY and begin your new education.

I don't want children. I don't like children (with the exception of a special few). They make me uncomfortable to an extreme degree. However, nearly all the charities I support are children's charities. Figure that one out.

I don't believe in the death penalty anymore. To learn about the case that changed my mind, please visit http://www.wm3.org/. For a more impartial look at the case, check out http://www.trutv.com/, click on the TruTV library and search "West Memphis Three." See also "Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills" documentary. If you already believe our legal system is broken, this will infuriate you. If you think our legal system is totally fair and impartial, this will rock your world. It can happen to you.

I'm an actress, a singer, a dancer, a movie slut, a TV addict, a relentless flirt. I love Havianas flip flops and Christian Louboutin heels. I follow fashion and love makeup and jewelry, but I am not afraid to be seen in public wearing Victoria's Secret jammie bottoms. I love food & wine, good conversation and dark humor. I'm wild and complicated and random and actually quite in love with myself (in a healthy way, of course!) but I'm not above making an ass of myself or being the butt of a good joke. I'm intelligent but also known to be kind of a dingbat. I love a good argument, Monty Python, text messaging, and photography. I love aquariums, road trips with my husband, tattoos, piercings, and postcards. I read...I read A LOT! Books, magazines, cereal boxes, the newspaper, online gossip, you name it. I cannot be summed up.

I leave you with the immortal words of Evita Peron as imagined by Andrew Lloyd Weber:
"Have I said too much? There is nothing more I can think of to say to you...But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true..."

Hugs & Kisses,
Lola