Deciding what to share & an update on the sitch...

Even though I am now posting my blog on this very public forum, I struggle with what I can/should/will disclose here. I always get caught in a war between wanting to share and get feedback and support or even arguments, versus protecting myself and thereby my loved ones as well. As of right now, I will try to give you a picture of what's going on while still maintaining some semblance of privacy. That's also why I haven't really updated my profile on here--I'm trying to figure out what to keep & what to give away, as it were.

Here's a vague idea of what I'm dealing with at the moment:
As of right now, my life is in complete turmoil. Work is crazy, my house is a mess, and all my near-future plans are up in the air once again. The DH has a herniated disk between C6 & C7 vertebrae, and his medical team all believed that while surgery was a likelihood, physical therapy would help enough for a while. Right about the same time this diagnosis was handed down, we had some other turmoil with his employer (AKA the US Army) deciding that he had been stateside long enough & it was time to get him out of the country. Our choices were pretty unattractive: Move to another post elsewhere in the country, from where he would likely deploy to the Middle East; or, he would volunteer to go to South Korea for a year so that he would be able to return to our home here. However, his medical team has decided that he cannot put off the surgery for a year while he is deployed, so it must be done very soon. They've scheduled the surgery for mid-August, which is the worst possible time for me with regard to my job. So we're trying to massage the dates a bit, a 6-month deferment on his orders is likely, and EVERYTHING we were planning for the next month or 2 is up in the air. I'm overwhelmed, upset, frustrated, scared, and just downright mixed up. I'm trying desperately to be strong and smart and keep everyone at least satisfied...I have so many proverbial balls in the air that something will have to give, and soon.

I don't care to get into my feelings/wishes/hopes/dreams for my DH's career right now, but suffice it to say, I would be totally happy to have him become a civilian. I know that financially it's not the best move, but I also know that money doesn't matter to me as much as my DH does. I'm just trying to get through one day at a time, but it's hard to keep re-arranging my thoughts and feelings to keep up with all the turmoil.

I've said this before, but again, for the new folks, let me say: I don't want pity or sympathy. I want support. I don't want to be told any bullshit about how "it'll all work out" or "it's ok" or "it could be worse." I'm perfectly aware of all of those things. Just try to imagine yourself in my position right now and think about what YOU would want to hear before you offer up your sentiments. I'm just trying to get through, all I can do is all I can do, and I know that it will work out however it's supposed to.

Wishing for Peace & Calm,
Lola